The Most Important Day of My Life

In my Mom’s final years, she lived about a mile away. I loved that more than anyone could imagine. Every day, I could turn down her street, see her, have coffee, take her to the doctor, whatever. It took almost a year before I got used to not being able to make that turn.

In the evenings, I would write. She would sit in her chair — my writing table took up most of her living room. She would have the fire going and we would watch TV and talk. Suzanne would always say, “go spend time with your mother while you can and don’t worry at all about me.” Man, I love her for that.

One night during the Olympics, Mom said, “Who pushed you?” There were great commercials during the Olympics showing little-bitty skaters, ice jumpers, ice dancers (whom she loved) with their parents, coaches etc. at very early ages and you just knew the Olympics were where they were headed. But for my mom to ask me this question really hit me. It was like she had always wanted to KNOW where my dreams, motivation and support really came from.

I will never forget this conversation with my mom.

Well, I said, “I think I pushed myself.” But I do know who always believed in me. You, Dad and Coach Hensley.” Coach Hensley was my high school coach.

My sophomore year in high school, I was cut from the baseball team the first day out. I wasn’t in good enough shape, the competition was pretty tough and because I didn’t play football, the coaches didn’t know me.

But the next day, what I now consider the most important day of my life, Coach Hensley wanted to see me. After a long horrible night, I went to the field to meet him.

A few years ago, right before he passed away, we went to dinner and he asked me a question, “Do you remember what I said to you the next day, after I cut you?”

“No,” I said, “was I still crying?”

“No,” he smiled, I told you not to quit. I told you that your hard work and love of the game had gotten you noticed. I told you that because we didn’t know you and the numbers were so great, there was not quite room for you on the team. I told you to keep playing, that I was proud of you for coming to see me, to deal with this setback and that your parents didn’t come to fight your fight for you.”

Coach Hensley gave me hope. We all need hope. It is easy to give a kid hope. That’s what Keepers do.

As parents and coaches, I think the most important thing we can do is “be there” for our kids. From a “Legacy” position, now it is really clear to me. Of course, you can’t be there for everything — your kids know that. Just make it a priority to be there when you can.

Kids love to be the “priority.”

Back to that night with Mom.

I told her that day with Coach Hensley was the most important day of my life. She agreed.

“Yes it was,” she said, “And if he wouldn’t have met with you and given you that encouragement, you would have gone away. You were heart-broken and very sensitive.”

Her words, “You would have gone away” still shake me a little, I hate to think of where I would have turned.

If you are a coach, or a parent, or a teacher, or care-taker or whatever, just remember that YOU will be a “difference maker” to someone, some day. For somebody, it will come down to YOU and whether or not you take the time to make someone’s world a better place, that will be YOUR legacy.

As a final nudge, pick up the phone or email that person — the one who gave you the most important day of your life.