Turbulence

Navigating the world of parenting is tough.

Over my years of research, I have interviewed many “navigators” on the parenting/coaching journey. One mom of a youth sports player asked me, “How do we navigate all of this?” This was six years ago, well before the coronavirus hit. I said, “Well, we all have to fly our own plane and manage our own families — I guess we just have to navigate the best way we know how!”

Having four children with spouses and 12 grandchildren (#13 coming this month!), I want to help you “navigate” several issues that you may encounter. I surely don’t have all the answers, but hopefully some helpful thoughts. We have had many blessings and encountered “turbulence” at times.

This is your journey.

That’s what is so cool about it. No one can tell you or show you how to navigate your journey with your family — that is your job. You get to hold the yoke and fly your plane. Remember, you are the pilot.

No family is the same.

No parent or kid is the same.

No community is the same.

Nobody parents the same way.

Nobody comes from the same background.

You don’t always know where you are going. Sometimes we would say, “We’re on our way, where are we going?” It was fun!

You don’t know what your kids (or grandkids) are going to be or do.

You don’t know who your kids will marry.

You with me?

We wish we had more control than we have, but we can only control a few things. During the Kansas City Royals’ World Series run nearly a decade ago, Ned Yost said, “I had to give up some control so my other coaches could help.” That’s where our community comes in. We are really seeing that during these “turbulent” times!

So, for the purposes of “navigating” with kids, just do the best thing:

Cherish every moment and enjoy today.

Help a neighbor. Our kids see that.

Back to my navigator interviews. There were six. They had flown in wars, trips, and long journeys and told great stories. They all talked about many different adventures.

But they all talked about “turbulence.” It’s a part of the trip.

I asked each of them, “What is the most important thing I should tell parents about dealing with turbulence?”

One stood out.

Sam, who was 94 at the time (and has since passed) and a former Navy aviator said this: “The most important thing your parents need to do for their kids is make sure they know how to ‘adjust’ in-flight.”

They all said some form of, “Some turbulence you can see coming, some you can’t.” In either case, you need to know how to adjust. It’s kind of like what we are dealing with today with this invisible enemy. Be there for your kids.

The other big one was a great conversation with Reed. Reed also died a few years ago — he was 93. A great friend, navigator and commercial pilot for many years with amazing stories.

I asked him, “So back in the day, you were in a bomber, in a bubble, over the ocean, maybe at night, how did you know where you were?” He said, “The North Star was the only place you could look, get some bearing points and you would know.”

Then I said, “What if you were in the clouds and couldn’t see the North Star?” He said, “Then you need to know how to pray.”

So, there are two great “nuggets” of advice for navigating through turbulence. My North Star Chapter has always been Psalm 37:1-8. Check it out if you like, we are told to not worry. (Don’t fret, be patient, wait, trust Him, be slow to anger etc.).

We have all experienced turbulence.

All turbulence is different — some seen, some unseen.

We are all “adjusting.”

Our kids are seeing it.

They are learning.

Keep up the great work. Stay safe.

It’s a great journey, and it goes quickly.